I Read a Page From a Book That Brought On Mental Anguish, and Now I Want Nothing More Than to Finish Reading It

In a segment on episode ten of Cosmos, Carl Sagan explored the idea of Flatland. A two dimensional plane of existence where all its inhabitants were completely flat. They knew of left and right, forward and backwards, but they did not know of up and down. It was beyond their comprehension. If a third dimensional creature were to happen upon a two dimensional creature, and decided to communicate with them, they would only be perceived as an ethereal voice. Almost as if it were coming from inside themself.

If the three dimensional creature were to cross through the other creature's plane of existence, only a slice of their body would be able to be seen. They would almost seem to morph into different shapes as they passed through.

If they decided to grab onto the two dimensional creatures and pull them into the third dimension, that creature would not be able to comprehend what they were seeing. Their mind would struggle to make sense of anything. After being set back down in their own dimension, it would seem like they just appeared out of nowhere to their fellow inhabitants. When they are asked where they came from, they would not know where to point. They would not be able to comprehend the notion that they were in a place called ‘up’.

I didn't do too well in my science classes, but I loved to read and watch pop science. I always found it fascinating, and this particular segment of Cosmos always stood out to me.

It's been a week since my Latin teacher seemed to lose their mind and go missing. You can read about the events that led up to that here. Since then I've had an itch that I am unable to scratch. Not a physical itch on my skin, but an itch deep down in the crevices of my psyche.

See, my Latin Teacher had a book on loan from a museum. He was in the middle of translating it when everything went down. He let me read one of the pages, which I firmly regret ever doing. My mind has never been the same ever since. It buried a fear deep into my soul that I cannot dislodge. However, I can't help but to want to read more.

I feel like I'm always being watched anymore. I can never find the person watching me, but I just can't shake the feeling. An ever persistent voyeur who hides in the shadows of my mind.

I don't know if I'm going to burn the book, or continue reading it, but I do know that I need to get into that office.

I sat at the front of Steve's empty classroom. I stared at the whiteboard that had the nonsensical math scribbled all over it. I heard a door open behind me, followed by footsteps leading to the front. I looked over as he passed me, I saw that it was Professor Whitman, who taught physics. He walked right up to the whiteboard and studied it intensely.

“Fascinating.”

I remained silent. I actually didn't care about the scribbles up on the board, I was just trying to figure out how to get into Steve's office. The physics professor turned to look at me and then back to the whiteboard.

“There's traces of quantum mechanics here.”

My head perked up.

“You give a monkey enough time on a type writer.” He continued

He turned, gave me a smile, and walked out the back.

Not long after that, the door opened again. This class is suspended indefinitely, why do people keep coming in? The footsteps walked up and to a seat in the front row on the other side of the aisle from me. I looked over to see Charles sit down. Charles was one of the top performing students at this school, he was a certified genius. I didn't know he took any of Steve's classes.

“Crazy huh?.”

“Yeah.” I responded as I looked back at the whiteboard.

“I would do anything to know what caused Professor [REDACTED] to suddenly lose his mind.”

I was struck with an idea. A few minutes later we were standing in front of Steve's office. Charles didn't seem too sure.

“You said anything.”

“I know I did, but I don't know about risking my scholarship and getting kicked out of school.”

“For stumbling into an unused office?”

“For one, it's called breaking and entering, and two, it's only unused because the former occupant is missing. I'm surprised they haven't declared it a crime scene.”

This was going to be harder than I hoped, but he did agree to meet with me in my dorm later that evening.

“Do you think knowledge can make someone go insane?” I asked

“The medical community doesn't use that term anymore.”

“You know what I mean.”

He sat there in thought for quite some time.

“I don't know, but I can't imagine how.”

“I do, I think a little bit of knowledge is harmless, but I think there's such a thing as too much.”

“Too much knowledge?” He asked mockingly.

“You've never done psychedelics have you?”

“I think I know where you're going with this, and you don't understand the effect psychedelics have on the brain.”

“They open up your mind to new ideas.”

“No, they just alter your thought patterns in such a way to cause you to believe things that aren't true.”

“So no, you never have.”

“And you've never read any scientific papers on the matter.”

“Personal experience dude.”

“It's called anecdotal evidence brah.”

“Until you've experienced it yourself you..”

“Don't pretend to know me! Don't pretend to know about subjects you haven't studied yourself! I don't like going around admitting to participating in illegal acts, doesn't mean I haven't looked into the eyes of god!”

I was quiet for a moment, and then rubbed the back of my head.

“Sorry.”

“It's fine.”

“Okay, what if I told you that you can have a psychedelic experience without consuming any substances? That all you needed to do was read a book?”

“I would tell you that you were full of shit.”

“But would you still give out a go?”

“Yeah sure, I'm always down for a good read.”

“Okay, then what if I told you that that very book is in Steve's office?”

“Steve?”

“Professor [REDACTED].”

“So you want me to help you break into a missing professor's office to steal a book that you haven't even convinced me is magic, is that right?”

“I didn't say magic!”

“Whatever!”

I just sat there staring at him for a moment.

“You said you would do anything to figure out what caused Steve to flip out.”

“Yeah, so?”

“I have no way of proving it without the book itself, but I'm giving you my word that the answer lies within the pages.”

“How do you even know?”

“Because I read a page myself, and I have heard the voice of god.”

“I don't know why, but I believe you.”

He paused for a long moment and then continued.

“Too bad we can't just go through the walls.”

“Or around them.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don't know how to explain it, but I can see the spaces sometimes. There's gaps that I think we can slip through.”

“Like the walls move?”

“No, the gaps are always there, they're just not in our dimension.”

“Oh, so we have to go into another dimension, move between these gaps, and then come back into our dimension?”

“over simplified maybe, but yes.”

“I don't know if reading that page did it or not, but damn, you're not all there are you?”

“I think it would be much easier to understand once we have the book, the concept might be better explained in there.”

“Sure, but we still have to figure out how to get the book first.”

“Only if you look at it strictly linearly from our perspective.”

“Excuse me?”

“Let's say we just wait until there's nothing keeping us from getting into the office legally. Like when they clear it out to get it ready for the next Professor.”

“Yeah, but then the book will be gone.”

“Sure, but then we wait in reverse until the book is in there again, and we take it.”

“First of all, I'm pretty sure it's generally agreed upon that time is not the fourth dimension, second of all, how would we even know how to accomplish something like that?”

“We will once we have the book.”

“But we have to get the book first!”

“You're still looking at it from a strictly linear perspective using our point of view.”

“DSM5 be damned, you've lost your fucking mind.”

It was at this point I saw something out of the corner of my eye, I don't know how to describe its shape, for it was ever changing. I jumped with a gasp.

“What? Are you okay?”

“Okay, if you're going to read the book, I do have to warn you. It may have lasting effects.”

“Like what?”

“I see things sometimes.”

“You mean like the gaps?”

“No, well, I suppose so, they exist in the same way as each other.”

“What does that mean?”

“I don't know yet, all I know is that while the gaps are just as innocuous as, let's say, a window, or a hallway, the other things? The other things scare me.”

“What do they look like? What makes them scare you?”

“I can never pinpoint exactly what they look like because their shape is always changing, and even after I can no longer see them, I still feel their presence. Watching me, studying me, deciding what to do with me.”

Charles stared at me in cold silence.

“I'm not so sure I would want to read this book now, that is if I even believed any of this to be real.”

“Oh it's real, it's very real, and you must heed my warning. Reading this book will bring heavy consequences.”

“I thought you wanted me to read the book.”

“Oh you must, it's full of such wondrous knowledge of the Cosmos.”

“If reading just one page does this to you, imagine what reading the entire book would do?”

“Oh I know, all that beautiful knowledge.”

“And the horrors”

My face grimaced.

“The horrors, oh the horrors. Mankind must never know of the horrors that are in that book.”

Charles has gone back home, he's going to devise a way to get into the office without getting caught. I sure hope he's using ideas that we have gotten from the book. Oh yes, I believe that would be the only way.

I don't know how, but we have the book.