I'm Stuck in a Simulation Please Send Help

I have a deranged mind. As where normal people have beautiful brains, mine is covered in holes from trauma. The abuse I have endured throughout my life has given me a mental illness that I can't survive without medication. Boy, am I medicated. I'm on all the greatest hits: Lithium, Latuda, Ketamine. Hell, even kalonopin if I get too stressed. My doctor came to me one day with a new drug. Something called Ibrepron. Ibrepron is a pill that you only take one time, and your mind is supposed to be cured of all past damage.

I got off the phone with Dr. Heins, picked up my keys and purse, and got on my way to his office. Dr. Heins had an opening for me today to stop by and pick up the prescription. It only took me ten minutes to get to his complex, and he saw me right away as soon as I got there. Dr. Heins sat me down in front of his desk and explained certain side effects. Nausea. Headache. Vomiting. Tremors. Consistent urination. The list went on for fifteen minutes.

Dr. Heins gave me a little pink capsule and a bottle of water. “I take it now?” I asked, looking down at the pill.

“The pill is going to make you pass out for a while. I have a patient room ready for you whenever you're ready to take the medication.” Dr. Heins explained getting up and opening his door for me.

My doctor led me down the hall to a small, very quaint room that I could only describe as cozy. There was a large two-person leather chair with a rising footrest covered in soft blankets against the far side of the room. A low humming chant came from the speakers hooked up to a laptop on a beautiful wooden stand, and the two lamps in the room were dimmed. The doctor left me in the room alone, and I sat down on the couch and took the pill.

A few moments later, a nurse came into my room and gave me fuzzy socks, which she put on me herself. Then she leaned the couch all the way back and tucked me underneath a warm, weighted blanket. The nurse put an eye mask over my face and dimmed the lights further before leaving my room. I didn't know how I was going to fall asleep right now. I was wide awake; it was midday. But then I felt my eyelids get too heavy to hold open, and I fell into the hug that was embraced around me.

When I woke up, I couldn't tell what time it was, for there were no windows in this small room. I adjusted my body a bit so I could grab my phone, and the time read 5:45pm. I had been in this room for eight hours and forty-five minutes. I untangled myself from the blanket and walked to the door. I opened it just a crack to look outside, and I caught eyes with the nurse. She came to aid me immediately and sat me back down so she could take my vitals.

Once I was cleared to go, I thanked the doctor for his time and left the office complex to get back to the parking garage where my car was parked. I sat behind the wheel and tried to feel anything different. I wondered what the pill had done to me in that amount of time. I was knocked out in that comfortable room. When I got home, I parked my car in the parking lot and made my way up to my apartment. I remember feeling overly relaxed as I walked around my home, taking off my clothes, ready for a shower.

Once I was clean and refreshed, this feeling of bliss had raptured me, and I knew that this must be the work of the pill. It was actually doing something. I made myself dinner, sat down in front of the TV in my living room, and stayed up all night before freshening up and getting ready for work. It was crazy, but I wasn't tired at all. I felt just as refreshed as I did after getting home from the doctor’s office.

It was 8:05am when I pulled into my parking spot and made my way into my place of work and up to the fifth floor, where my office was. I said good morning to everyone I passed, all while not feeling any mania in my system. I felt put together, and even for the first time in my life. There were no flares of frustration or outbursts of anger. There was just tranquility, and everything was too serene to be upset about anything. I was trapped in some kind of euphoria, and I felt like things couldn't get any better.

When I got home from work, I went up to my apartment, got ready for bed, ate a quick dinner, curled up under my covers, and tried to get some much-needed rest so I could have another terrific day tomorrow.

When I opened my eyes, I saw blankness. I squirmed out of the cocoon I was trapped in and pulled the eye mask off my face. I looked around groggily and rubbed my eyes, trying to get a sense of where I was. Then the familiar female chanting caught my attention, and I realized I was back in the doctor's office. I leaped out of bed and threw the door open. The nurse came to me immediately, and I tried to explain that I had already left. I was already finished with this appointment.

“I was here two days ago. I was just home. I don’t understand how I am here again.” I tried to protest as the nurse sat me down on the couch.

“Everything is okay. Sometimes delirious dreams come with medication. I assure you everything is fine.” The nurse was so soothing and convincing, I had no reason not to believe her.

Feeling nervous and on edge, I made my way to my car at 5:45pm and went home to my apartment. When I unlocked the door and stepped inside my home, everything was just as it was supposed to be. I walked around cautiously to see if there were any abnormalities, but I saw none. I tried to relax with a shower, and after that I made myself some food.

Again, I couldn't sleep that night, so I watched TV until I saw the sunrise, and then I got ready for work. I brushed my teeth and my hair before throwing on a nice blouse and some slacks. I walked out my door feeling confident and recharged, as if an electric shock had been pulsing through my body. I walked into my office building with a smile on my face and a welcome in my tone. Again, there was no mania or violent urges to act out or be impulsive. I was cool and collected.

When I got home, I got myself ready for bed and crawled under my covers, still feeling just as euphoric as before. Then I tried to open my eyes, only to see darkness. I shimmied out of my blanket’s hold and ripped the eye mask off my face. I was back in the patient room in the doctor's office. Before I could pull myself out of the chair, the nurse came in to greet me.

“This is my third time being here. I don't know how I even got here.” I spoke frantically as the nurse was putting a blood pressure cuff on my arm.

“Honey, it's okay. Dreams are vivid and confusing once you have succumbed to the pill.” The nurse smiled at me and patted my hand.

“You said that the last time I was here.” I could feel my blood pressure rise, and the nurse frowned at the results.

“I'm going to get Dr. Heins.” The nurse left the room for a moment, and when she came back, she had the doctor with her.

“I hear you aren’t feeling well.” The doctor came in and sat down on a stool with his legs crossed.

“Not feeling well? I'm stuck in a time loop. I keep coming back here.” I tried to explain my dilemma, but it was as if there was no understanding.

“You just need a good night's sleep to get that pill residue out of your head.” The doctor smiled at me and patted me on my shoulder. “Get some rest and come back if you have more questions.”

The nurse this time walked me to my car to ensure that I was indeed okay to drive, and when I made it out of the parking garage, I went home with my stomach in my throat and my breath caught in my lungs. I was convinced I was having a manic attack. I wondered if that pill could have caused this to come on. But why would my doctor give it to me if these were the risks? I made my way up to my apartment and locked the door behind me. That's when I saw the shadow people.

They were against my walls and in the corners. Human forms with no face or detail of any kind. When they saw me, they all began to come for me at once. I sprinted to my room and slammed the door, crying out in panic. My hallucinations are getting bad now. I didn't know what to do but called my doctor. The phone rang for an eternity before it went to voicemail.

“Hello, Dr. Heins, I think there is something really wrong with me. I'm beginning to have visual hallucinations, and I believe I am stuck in a time loop. If you could give me a call as soon as you can, I'd really appreciate it.”

I hung up the phone and then heard a light tapping coming from behind my bedroom door. It sounded like dozens of fingers drumming on the wood all at once. I sat on my bed against the backboard and brought my knees up to my chest. What was I going to do? Call the cops and tell them the shadow men want to get me. I stayed in this position all night until morning came. I called into work and carefully stepped out of my bedroom. When I saw nothing but daylight, I grabbed my keys and ran to my car frantically.

I sped all the way to my doctor’s office only to find it conveniently closed. I sat behind the wheel of my car and tried to think about how I could stop what was happening. I could force myself to stay awake. If I don't go to sleep, then I will never wake up in my doctor’s office again. That helped me with that issue, but it didn't solve anything with the shadow people, who were now after me. The longer I stay in this loophole, the more alive the shadow people become.

I didn't know what would happen if one of them got me, but I didn't want to find out. I sped back to my apartment and turned on every light in the house so that there wasn't even a piece of darkness to be witnessed. I then sat in my position on the bed and waited all night for something to get me. I could hear the drumming in the walls, but nothing in my brightly lit apartment. I kept my eyes open and alert for as long as I could, but eventually sleep grabbed me.

I shook my head violently back and forth as I ripped off my eye mask. I stormed to the door and ripped it open to find every room empty. There was no doctor or nurses of any kind, nor were there any people in the waiting room. I covered myself with my jacket and made my way to the parking garage, where I began to see them. I must have been locked in their home, for the shadow people have never been so persistent before.

I sprinted to my car and drove quickly down empty streets. Everything around me was void of life. I made it home and locked myself in my room with all my lights on. But then my bulbs began to burst, and glass shattered as the darkness crept in. I ran from my apartment and drove to the most lit-up place I knew, and that was close by, and it happened to be a Waffle House. I sat in a booth and ordered their late-night special from the only waitress in the building who was working. There was also a mean-looking man behind the grill staring at me. Other than that, the place was empty.

The waitress came back with my food, and I stared at it. I didn't want to eat it; I just wanted to be in the light. Then I watched the waitress and the cook disappear into the back of the building, and I was left alone under bright fluorescent lights. As time began to stretch, the lights, however, began to flicker. First, it was one bulb, then it was two, and then all the bulbs flickered until each one went out. I ran from the building before the last light could burst, and I got into my car.

I didn't know what to do or where to go, and I was tired of running around. I made my way back to my apartment, sat down on my couch, and watched all the lights around me go out. Once I was immersed in darkness, I felt the shadow people rip through my body and climb into my bones. I felt their forms stretch under my skin and move my organs from side to side. I then watched as my flesh began to disintegrate into a dark void as if the shadow men were making me one of their own.

I felt them gnaw and consume my heart, and I even felt their fingers tear through my soul. The pain was so intense that I was begging to breathe and begging to die at the same time. Every nerve in my body got singed, and every atom was dissected. I felt all the blood rush out of my body in waterfalls as wounds began to gush open in my arms and legs. Then I felt as if my lungs were pulled from their stems and my heart was crushed with a fist. Then my world went completely still, and I fell into an abyss of darkness.

When I opened my eyes again, my vision was distorted, but I could see a girl in a room who had just noticed me. I began to walk to her with my hand out, and she screamed. Then I tried to step into the light, and it burned me. I looked around at all the other lost souls begging for people to save them. These were the shadow people. I have lost to their world after my doctor threw me down their well. It was a trap from the very beginning. This is where I was meant to end up, and this girl I see now looks like a fresh patient of Dr. Heins, for I can see her appointment slip on her table. This is the curse. This is the cycle. This is the simulation.